Keeping the Spark Alive as a Couple When You Have Kids
Ah, isn’t it fun to remember the heady days of your courtship with your Significant Other, when you couldn’t stand to be away from the other and spent hours gazing into each other’s eyes and cooing lovingly? This may seem like an distant memory when you snap at each other for losing your son’s favorite shirt or only make conversation about who’s turn it is to take the kids to school. Having children will change your relationship, but you must also remember to make time as a couple, not just as parents.
According to the Office for National Statistics, the average married couple spends only about two and a half hours together each day. This might sound like a lot, but how much of that time involves discussing grocery budgets, your daughter’s ear infection and family problems? Most likely, the majority of your time together is trying to deal with daily life. Good, fine, no problem. The issues crop up, however, then that is the only type of time you have together.
Essentially, you still need to make quality time for your significant other, or your relationship will suffer. According to Americans for Divorce Reform, poor communication is the number one cause – after lack of commitment – for divorce today. This means that when you set out to talk to your spouse, really talk. Make time that is just for the two of you, and do not allow yourselves to be interrupted until you are done talking. Throw out the remote, kill the phones, dump the kids at the sitters and just talk. Regularly, as part of your routine.
In order to keep the affection alive in your relationship, despite working, paying bills and dealing with who’s turn it is to fix dinner, you simply must adhere to a rule to still be affectionate to one another and to make time for each other. Not only will this have a positive effect on your relationship, but it will also set a good example for your children to follow someday.
Make your “talk time” with your loved one special; arrange special treats to nibble on or a cold bottle of wine and make it something to look forward to every week. You need to remember that you’re more than just a parent – you are also half of a couple and owe effort to yourself and each other to that end as well.